Are You Ever Triggered?

Is there someone in your life that triggers anger in you?  There is for me. He can take me from happy-go-lucky to angry in a millisecond. That’s when I’m trying to remember Shoshin.

Shoshin is a Zen concept that means beginner’s mind. It suggests that you be curious like a child in difficult situations. Ask questions instead of re-act. Learn more. How do you think the other person would react if you calmly just asked questions.

“The beginner’s mind is the mind of compassion, it is boundless,” according to Shunryu Suzuki, “Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind.”

Key here is to keep your cool and if appropriate, forgive yourself and them.  Once that is done. It is done.  Walk away if you have to and even cry in your room if you have to. But let curiosity lead you to peace of mind.

This reminds me of the book my book club recently read by Mel Robbins called, “The Let Them Theory.” In this book Mel argues that much of our stress comes from trying to control things we simply cannot, like other people’s thoughts, decisions or actions.  She explains how this leads to resentment, frustration, and exhaustion.

The core idea of the theory is that by letting them (others) do what they want, think what they want, or live how they choose, you reclaim your energy to focus on what matters most: your own happiness and well-being. (excerpts from Kari Browning, thebeautifulrevolution)

So the next time someone triggers you, take a deep breath and let it out slowly. Curiously ask them why they said what they said in a variety of ways and then….let it go!

Blessings,

Cheryl